Showing posts with label Ghostface. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ghostface. Show all posts

4/20/11

Review - Scream 4

Don't Fuck With The Original
(Or, What Exactly Is The Problem Here)


Warning: Major Spoilers Below

A quick sojourn through The October Country's posts from the past couple weeks should indicate to anybody reading this, that we here at TOC are big fans of Kevin Willaimson's / Wes Craven's meta, modern day take on the horror genre (or more specifically, the slasher sub-genre). Certainly, our love for the series is going to shade our review with a degree of bias opinions.
There is no denying the fact that we are those big dorky fans that literally counted down the days leading up to Scream 4's release and then promptly waited impatiently in the theater lobby 90 minutes before the film's pre-premier midnight screening We are the type of fans for which there was to be no waiting any longer than need be to experience this sucker as we'd already been waiting for over a decade to return to this world, for crying out loud. Trust me when I say, we simply couldn't put it off one more day.

We had in equal number, so many hopes (detailed here) and apprehension and reservations (here) leading up to the big unveil. We were mildly hoping for another masterpiece (Scream is arguably a masterpiece and Scream 2 is one of the worthiest successors in genre history) yet we were not getting our hopes up, lest our expectations set the bar so high for 4 that no manner of its awesomeness could please us. As far as our doubts are concerned, we prayed that it at least be better than Scream 3. After a decade away from the franchise, a new era of studio horror "films" (recycled, rebooted, remade, ripped off retreads) mucking up the landscape, the mainstream slasher genre essentially put to bed, Wes Craven's previous film being the mangled turkey that was My Soul To Keep and Kevin Williamson's horror output being confined to teenybopper small screen endeavors (The Vampire Diaries and soon The Secret Circle) in addition to Williamson leaving the project midway through production, script rewrites, recasting and the meddlesome nature that is the Weinsteins, being better than Scream 3 seemed like the most that we could realistically hope for.


Right off the bat I'll tell you that thankfully, it is better than Scream 3, so a travesty of those proportions were averted. But what of it's other merits, or lack thereof? Turns out we had to see the film two more times to make up our minds. It's not as though we didn't enjoy Scream 4 by any stretch of the imagination. To the contrary, we had a blast right from the get go. A regular 'ol screaming and laughing, armrest-clenching blast. However, I became aware 20 minutes before the film started of something peculiar going on inside of me. Gone were my everyday pretensions and trademark cynicism that gets me through life (and much of what Hollywood produces). Save for the aforementioned worrying that Scream 4 wouldn't measure up, I was uncharacteristically overexcited and giddy as if I was 15 again (my age when the first film debuted). I realized that for the first time in eons, I was about to watch a film as a eager fanboy first, and a critic second. So, it is this reason that I felt as though additional viewings were required before I officially committed any thoughts down, and those thoughts are as follows.

Picking up 10 years after the conclusion of Scream 3, we return to Woodsboro (the scene of the first film's now famous slaughters), a town that proves the more things change, the more they stay the same. Dewey Riley (David Arquette) once deputy of the small hamlet has now been graduated to sheriff and not only has he staffed his department with equally bumbling and incompetent lawmen (Adam Brody, Anthony Anderson and Marley Shelton) but he's gone and finally made an honest woman (after three films of on again off again romantic struggles) out of the now terminally-bored-as-a-housewife-in-a-small-town Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox, I feel ya girl). Into Woodsboro's relative facade of tranquility enters Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), harbinger of death and destruction arriving like a black thunderstorm on the horizon (not really, she pulls up in a modest, efficient rental but you know what I mean) , or as one character aptly refers to her, "the angel of death". Coinciding with Sid's return to her hometown, a new rash of killings break out that finds not only the core trio back in harms way of Ghostface's blade and pithily humorous threats (or positively bone chilling at times, Ghostface this time around, is not mincing words "I'm going to slice your eyelids open so you don't blink when I stab you in the face") , but also Sidney's remaining estranged family; Aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell, absolutely wasted) her younger cousin Jill Roberts (Emma Roberts) and Jill's high school pals. If the film's dialogue is to be believed (yet, the action falls sadly short of illustrating in most cases), Sidney has yet again awoken a masked madman (or men) hellbent on "remaking" the first "movie" (aka Stab, Scream's film-within-a-film counterpart, based on the "real life" killings from Gale's trashy tell all book The Woodsboro Murders, itself a recount of Scream's fictional world, phwew). A psychopath that won't stop until everyone Sydney cares about is taken from her and in short, she suffers dearly and suffers greatly. Terminally so.


Right out of the gate, Scream 4 announces itself as a film so hyper-aware of itself, so deconstructive of it's trappings, that it seesaws dangerously close from beginning to end into tipping over into outright analysis and fading away as a film. Mirroring the real life (really real life this time) hallway of smoke and mirrors that Craven, Williamson and co. sent fans down prior to its release (feeding us false plot information such as Scream 4 being the beginning of an entirely new trilogy wherein the torch would be passed from the original characters onto Jill and her surviving friends, effectively throwing everybody off their game and fucking with their expectations of the film's intent and final denouement), Scream 4's opening moments are likewise a magic trick that continuously keeps disappearing down it's own rabbit hole (or possibly emerging from it, depending on how you look at it). In essence though, the prologue is stating that what follows is going to be a series of bait and switches that toys with what audiences thought that they were in for (like a set of Russian dolls, Stab 6 begets Stab 7 which begets...dum da da dum, Scream 4) which as it turns out, is only the first in a multitude of this entry's incredibly intriguing story ideas and plot concepts that perhaps worked better on paper than they do in execution. Or rather, this particular version of its execution (being aware of the alleged, initial 2 hours and 20 minute running time makes reviewing the film and picking apart its script entirely frustrating). I mean, does that first trick, the one where we are meant to believe going into this thing, that Jill and her younger generation will inherit Scream's throne work on anybody other than the diehard fans that read Dimension Film's official plot synopsis and listened to what Craven and Williamson had to say about the film's new direction? I see no reason to think so. Likewise with the opening narrative trick. Does it work? Not entirely, not as a whole. Stab 6 moderately works as a tension filled 4 minute mini-movie with some amusing banter between Trudie (Shenae Grimes) and Sherrie (Lucy Hale) transpiring before the characters devolve into world where Scream apparently hasn't taken place and start doing very stupid, groan inducing things that as everyone knows, will surely be their doom (which is right around the point where you the viewer say "Hey wait a damn minute, these two are supposed to be the big celebrity kills?", the requisite tradition of the franchise's prologues). But then there is abrupt screaming and bloodshed and the opening moments end very suddenly and disappointingly until...gotcha, Stab 7 (unknowingly) takes its place. Okay, Kristen Bell (Chloe) and Anna Paquin (Rachel), now these two are celebrities and this is more like it. Except it's not. It's barely more than a slightly clever, blink-and-you-will-miss-it joke (with Paquin doing her usual over emoting of every line, I swear, how did this woman win an Oscar?) There is more biting analysis on the current state of the horror genre (over analysis in this case, or maybe it's just Paquin's delivery of the lines that makes them stick out like the blood spurting, thumb severed appendage that Ghostface just played with) before stab, scream, blood and...gotcha, Scream 4 (unknowingly) takes it's place accompanied to nervous laughter and no doubt furrowed brows from the audience. Enter Jenny Randall (Aimee Teegarden) and Marnie Cooper (Brittany Robertson), two pretty, blonde high school girls carrying on the same deconstructive conversation that the last four dead women had. Only this time, the action is the real action that is about to set off Scream 4's chain of events that will leave a pile of attractive dead bodies in its wake by films end. Action that begins and ends as suddenly as the previous two examples.


Though we all expect an awful lot of these scenes, I don't hate Scream 4's opening moments. Surely, its better than Scream 3's Cotton Weary (Liev Schreiber) Christine Hamilton (Kelly Rutherford) home invasion (lifeless, limp and bloodless in addition to a returning character like Cotton deserving a better orchestrated, more cleverly conceived sendoff). No, 4's opening lands somewhere slightly behind Scream 2's Jada Pinkett-Smith's / Omar Epps' theater slaughter. Like part 2's, it's fascinating in concept, but it works (sometimes) more as a clever gimmick instead of the emotionally draining roller coaster that the original Scream devised for Drew Barrymore. Which is a shame, because after a 10 year absence from movie screens, Scream 4 should have opened with something that went straight for our throats instead of our smart ass, know-it-all, wink wink funny bone. It's...underwhelming, considering the wait for it. This particular opening is called into further question when taking into account the original way it was conceived (like I said not moments ago, being aware of all that deleted footage is a bitch), the remnants of which can still be seen in the film's trailer, TV spots and film stills. Apparently, Marnie and Jenny's characters, or rather who took the lead in in the unfolding events, were initially reversed. Keeping in line with how nobody in Woodsboro (of their generation) treats Ghostface as anything other than a boogeyman to have fun with (scaring their friends and taunting their acquaintances with phone apps that recreate his signature voice, the second of Scream 4's brilliantly conceived yet go nowhere ideas), Marnie is none-to-impressed when after getting up from the couch to get some popcorn (breaking away from the released version's series of events that finds Jenny going upstairs), she is interrupted by the spectacle of Ghostface brutally stabbing her friend to death on the couch. She barely blinks, going about her business, making sarcastic comments as Jenny screams and bleeds and dies, thinking it is all just another joke that is being played on her. It isn't, obviously (culminating in the clip some may have seen on TV of Marnie lying on the floor, bloodied, croaking out "But your not real" before biting it). Perhaps we'll never know (unless it surfaces on DVD), but that sounds like hands down a helluva lot more disturbing opening that what was ultimately presented to us. Perhaps it was too thematically close to Scream 2's opening, wherein Maureen and Phil are murdered in plain sight of a crowded theater, but likewise, everyone witnessing the crime think it's nothing more than a gag. In a sequel about remakes and recreating past atrocities from the previous films though, I can't see why this would have given the makers pause. I mean, they could have really gotten meta on us there, recreating Scream's killings of Casey Becker and Steven Orth (another deleted scene that finds both Marnie and Jenny's bodies posed like Casey and Steve's; one hung from a ceiling fan, the other tied to a chair) and Scream 2's murders (thematically), which in turn were recreations of Scream's opening kills and copycatting Maureen Prescott's death, all the while, Stab is playing on the theater screen recreating Scream's opening crimes as well, throw in Stab 6 and Stab 7 as a prelude to all of this and....Jesus! I think my scalp just popped off in a hail of smoke and sparks and hit the ceiling trying to work my way through all of that. Unfortunately though, as with much of Scream 4, it comes just inches away from truly clever and falls short of its own potential in addition to going for the humor, instead of the shiver Which by the way, the movie continuously insists on doing at really awkward, inappropriate times (see Anthony Anderson's demise for example, surely the most disturbing death in the film...right up until the moment is ruined by a really cheap, really unfunny one liner, something that really shouldn't be a part of this world). Either way, what remains is still a relatively fun 10 minutes, the body count is up to six, the main titles flash across the screen and then we're off (again, for really real this time).


What follows for the remaining 90 some minutes, is an intriguing mess of ideas, characters, red herrings, murders and story threads that all carry with them the means to really go for the gusto and make something truly memorable of this sequel. Unfortunately, like the opening sequence (a microcosm of the entire film's faults boiled down to 10 minutes), they all race for the finish line, giving everything they got, then abruptly stop dead in their tracks feet from the goal and content themselves with staying there. As far as all of these million and one concepts and metaphors all getting juggled simultaneously by Scream 4's script, ultimately they all come crashing down by film's end, without any one of them having made a serious statement on the proceedings or lasting impression to mull over on the walk to your car.

First we have the idea of remakes. Though the movie gets in some wonderfully acidic jabs at the trend currently destroying mainstream horror films (Kirby's breathless, desperate reciting of every recent remake she can remember off of the top of her head is a show stopper, in both a hilarious bitch slap kinda way and tellingly sad statement on the state of affairs the genre finds itself in, and she didn't even list them all) but as far as the concept of Scream 4 itself being a remake (in both the killer's actions and the recreation of key scenes, moments and characters from the franchises' history), it only makes it halfway there. Given how the opening murder of Jenny and Marnie was changed at the last minute, it makes all the characters' proceeding dialogue about a killer "recreating" the original events of Woodsboro completely nonsensical and moot. We get what the filmmakers are trying to establish, so we go with it as viewers but need only pause for a second to realize that it's still all bunk. In fact, no actual recreation of anything on Ghostface's part occurs until the final reel, which finds Charlie Walker (Rory Culkin) tied to a chair on a back patio (ala Steven Orth from Scream's opening moments), his life in the hands of Kirby Reed (Hayden Panettiere, taking over for Casey Becker in this instance) who must answer a series of horror trivia questions to save his life. Certainly, Ghostface does a lot of talking about how he is re-imagining events, but alas he (and the script) is all bark and no bite in this department. As far as the movie itself remaking it's original film, it's a bit more successful but outside of it's own self-satisfied assurance that it is hitting all the right marks (in reality, just barely), this new direction only manages to be nothing more than a series of mildly amusing yet wholly diverting winks to the series' hardcore fans; Kirby is unquestionably the re-imagined Tatum Riley (Rose McGowan), Robbie Mercer (Erik Knudsen) and Charlie together are the re-imagined Randy Meeks (Jaime Kennedy), the entire floundering, inefficient police force is Dewey 2.0, the vaguely stalkerish, quietly menacing Trever Sheldon (Nico Tortorella, smoking hot, did I mention that?) is our new Billy Loomis (Skeet Ulrich) and so on. There is the new version of Billy and Sid's high school hallway confrontation from the original (and spoofed in the sequel with Luke Wilson and Tori Spelling) played out between Jill and Trevor. They also recreated the famous fountain side banter between the kids from part 1 (again, seen in the trailers), but apparently this was excised as well. They recreate the big party in the third reel, but again, this is another missed opportunity (c'mon guys, you got the creepiest barn this side of Halloween 5's Tower Farm, and a scarecrow version of Ghostface's mask created last year and you couldn't cook up something a bit more impressive). Billy and Stu Macher's (Matthew Lillard) kitchen stab-o-thon is recreated in the last act, and finally here is an instance where they almost recapture the same disturbing and horrifying display of insanity but this scene only proves that when recreating the original, you are always going to fall short of matching it. Which is around the time I started to wonder if Scream 4 is just a big, expensive, elaborate lark played on the fans and studio, perhaps its truncated, less than perfect existence is snidely intentional, perhaps it is the statement.


Next up we have the film's preoccupation with new, modern technology and the exciting role this could potentially play into events. Well, I did say potentially, because ultimately the don't do anything with it (it almost seems thrown in either as an after thought). Robbie walks around the film with a huge, streaming webcam strapped to the side of his face like some atrocious modern day head brace and...you guessed it, besides distracting us with its presence, the filmmakers don't do anything with it. Even when the moment arrives where we are led to believe that something clever is about to occur, as Robbie's cam has been reversed and recording what is behind him in his intoxicated state, is proven to be nothing but a false start as he fumbles around and turns it forward only to reveal seconds later that that is where Ghostface is standing, just in front of him (this is one of the film's lamest, most frustrating moments of missed opportunities, goddamn it can I write at least the setpieces next time fellas?) The modern plague of texting is in our face throughout, but nothing really comes of it. Likewise the phenomena of Facebook and Twitter just sit there like some declaration that the filmmakers are "with it" (though the latter does earn an amusing line). So besides being either nothing more than gratuitous product placement or another half-baked concept, all these iPhones and webcams and whatnot do nothing more than seriously date the film, which is never something that you should strive for. It certainly doesn't add anything to the movie but more interruption (and things are already getting mightily disordered at this point).


Then we have the aforementioned characters / red herrings / knife fodder / returning series' stalwarts and again, another mess. The core three, Dewey, Gale and Sidney don't fair so well this time, seemingly regulated to mere cameos as a side effect of the filmmakers' insistence to make this relevant to teenagers (a Hollywood thought process that I will loath till the day I die, seriously I had zero issues with being engaged in and or caring about characters who weren't in my immediate age bracket when I was kid, nor do I know any kids today who think the way that Hollywood presumes they do about such matters). Both Dewey and Gale are wasted in a major way this time around. Regulated to the sidelines, their meager roles are seemingly scaled back to their importance in the original (not an attempt to keep in line with the remake motif, I fear). Dewey isn't even put into harms way until the final scene for Christ's sakes. Though Sidney fairs a little better as far as exposure, but she is given absolutely no storyline other than to react to the next attack on Jill or one of her friends. What gives? This is the one aspect of the film that does really piss me off; The fans don't sit around for ten years wondering how Ghostface could creatively kill off more teenagers. No, we sit around wondering what Gale, Dewey and Sidney might be up to. It is the characters that is the unique heart and soul of this franchise. It is the characters that keep us coming back. Maybe the meat of their storylines ended up on the cutting room floor like much else of the film's substance, but I can't say that for sure and so I'm going to judge the film from what I do know and I know this: you don't spend three films feeding the blossoming relationship between Dewey and Gale only to have them get married and then drop the ball in exploring that aspect of their characters. You don't take a richly fiery woman like Gale Weathers (Gale freakin' Weathers damnit), with all her aspirations of fame and fortune (something that could have easily tied into the film's climatic statement on said matter), plunk her down in no man's land for a decade in the name of love and then not dig into that juicy nugget of dramatic potential. You don't take someone like Dewey who has been fighting for nothing but respect and for people to finally take him seriously for three films, and then not examine how that character may have grown since finally achieving that respect (I'll take his new found position as town sheriff as a sign that somebody believes in the boy). You don't champion Sidney as the face of modern horror's scream queens and then shade her character's return with no more soul other than that she wrote a book (that's it, that's all there is to her this time and it's not even used as a crux of the film's storyline). You just...don't do any of this. In effect, we the audience are left just as in the dark as we were at the conclusion of Scream 3. Hell for all the lack of material they are given to their 10 year back story, this movie might as well just have picked up directly after that one and gone retro. I've done a lot of daydreaming as a result by the way, and I've chosen to believe that Sidney has spent a lot of time regretting that she was always one step behind in the past, and her friends and family suffered as a result. Hence, the explanation as why in this film she goes barreling into danger like a bat outta hell, confronting the killer, rather than retreating (a brush stroke I must single out for praise, as it's quite awesome to behold of our gal, even if she is as unsuccessful in saving anyone as she was before).

The new, younger faces are a mixed bag. Besides being modern day incarnations of previous entry's characters, they're also not all that sympathetic (something the Scream series has always asked it's audience to do, is care when that blade slices flesh to ribbons and people start dropping like flies). It's my opinion that a degree of this is unintentional (you cut back your film's running time, you cut back your characters' dimensionality, assuming that it was there to begin with, period) but that a huge amount of it is intentional; commenting on younger generations' desensitization and their removed attitudes from real world horrors (they've seen it all on YouTube) in addition to growing up in a culture obsessed with fame and celebrity, this lot is more concerned with status and shallow pursuits than they are with one another. When their friends start getting brutally butchered in front of their very eyes, they go through the requisite screaming and hysterics, for a moment. Then the next day, it's seemingly back to business as usual: parties, gossip, snark. This new approach to the franchise's potential victims works in a blackly satirical way (if you dig in mind you, it's subtle enough where you wonder if this is indeed what is going on, or if everyone just happens to be unlikable assholes) but it doesn't do much for our sympathy which in turn doesn't make us give a hoot if they die, which in effect renders the scare sequences kinda toothless and so on. However, this is no fault of the actors as the young cast all turn in fine performances, Robertson and Knudsen standing out with Panettiere stealing the show as every geeks wet dream (she owns Suspiria and knows who Gunner Hansen is, hotness incarnate), even if she is kind of a bitch. As far as the cast of characters doing double time as red herrings, I say what red herrings? Besides a few suspicious, pointed camera shots and select characters being in suspect locations at certain points in the game, there are virtually no clues left for audiences to stew over. Largely gone is the series' format of murder mystery via slasher film. There really isn't any mystery. Or investigation. Or yes, clues. Instead, we have in its place a series of killings that stretch to the climax where the killers are revealed abruptly, without any diverting storylines laid, or red herrings worked for, that should make their ultimate unveiling shocking.


Which leads us to the motivation of the killers, film geek Charlie Walker and Sidney's cousin Jill. Again, much like most else in the film (I'm getting really sick of saying that at this point), Jill's initial motivation, that she deserves the spotlight after growing up in the shadow of Sidney's fame, that she deserves a chance to be Sidney, is very intriguing until you realize that again, what filmmakers have shown us contradicts the information coming out of their character's mouths. Throughout Scream 4's runtime, we witness the denizens of Woodsboro mostly meet Sidney with scorn or derision (save for a few stragglers at Sidney's book signing). When the murders start anew, townspeople congregate outside the police line and heckle Sidney, blaming her presence for the the death of one of their own. Her own Aunt Kate even seems initially put off by her return ("nobody asks me about my scars"). Likewise Jill's very friends, though they regard Sidney from afar as a pseudo-curiosity, want nothing to do with her ("What are you doing in the house with her, that's like being on Top Chef with Jeffrey Dahmer"). So we are yet again being told something contradictory that we haven't seen, at which point we are left but no choice but to try and take Jill's word on matters (an unreliable witness no doubt, though I get the impression we are supposed to believe her sob story) . As far as Charlie? Well he is along for the ride apparently, seeking the same fame and notoriety that Jill is perusing (he's to be the new Randy to Jill's Sidney). Despite the above criticisms, I personally liked this turn of events, or the latter half of Jill's motivation. I'm just about as over this nation's obsession with fame, reality TV and celebrity gossip as anybody could be and I found Jill's statement that she didn't need friends, she needed fans, very dead-on in the moral rot it was portraying. I fear that her Jill Roberts is a very accurate representation of a certain contingent of modern day American society (hey, if parents are willing to concoct elaborate ruses like setting their small children adrift in balloons to gain attention, I'm not putting anything past anybody anymore) and I think this last magic trick the filmmakers perform; pulling back the curtain to reveal a selfish motivation even sicker than bloodlust, insanity or revenge, is one of the film's few, genuinely amazing moments (and finally, a relatively concise deceleration escapes the movie's other, muddled fumbles at them). If the film had ended in the glare of flashing light bulbs and swarming reporters in the vein of Sunset Boulevard, as Jill was wheeled away on the stretcher (achieving her goal), I think frankly I would have been stunned at both the statement and the balls on display. But alas, Scream 4 has no balls, and we are drug along to the hospital for a protracted climax that even one character has the sense of mind to realize is "getting silly", or more aptly, way over the top (Sidney even resourcefully uses a defibrillator as a weapon, ala Dr. Giggles, now there is a film you want to model yourself after, good Christ). As expected by this point, Jill goes down (several times, per tradition) and Sidney, Gale, Dewey and Deputy Judy Hicks (Marley Shelton) triumph. The end.


You probably have forgotten by this point and after all of that nitpicking, that I actually enjoyed Scream 4 (three times now, and there is sure to be many more times in the near future). I think what you have just have borne witness to, was the inner struggle of a rabid fanboy against his more critical nature (a nature that knows better). However, when all is said and done, the overly eager, salivating fan who waited 90 minutes in the lobby for the film to start, so impatient he was to get to it, wins (mark it down, because it isn't likely to happen again for another 10 years). In all honesty, if I judged Scream 4 by the merits of everything else that is getting produced in Hollywood these day, it would surely rate a lot higher. In all reality, it could be so very, very much worse than it is (even Campbell has stated publicly that it is a "miracle" it came out at all, considering the behind-the-scenes drama that hounded it endlessly). And when stacked up against other part 4s in major horror franchises (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: The Next Generation, Jaws 4: The Revenge, Hellraiser 4: Bloodlines, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, Saw 4 but to name a few), it looks all the more like a regular class act. However, I'm not grading the film on a curve. I'm holding Scream 4 up to the franchise's own standards and it is these standards (not mine, not Hollywood's, not sequel's, not remakes) that it fails to live up to.





Scream 4 stars Neve Campbell (The Craft, The Glass Man, The Dark), Courteney Cox (The Tripper, Cougar Town), David Arquette (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ravenous, Eight Legged Freaks, The Tripper), Emma Roberts (It's Kinda a Funny Story, Homework), Hayden Panettiere (Heroes, I Love You Beth Cooper), Lucy Hale (Fear Island, Pretty Little Liars), Shenae Grimes (Sugar, The Cross Road), Anna Paquin (True Blood, Darkness, Trick R' Treat, Open House), Kristen Bell (Pulse, Roman), Marielle Jaffe (Locked Away), Marley Shelton (Valentine, Dark Shadows, Grindhouse), Erik Knudsen (Saw II, Beastly, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World), Rory Culkin (The Zodiac, Signs, Mean Creek), Aimee Teegarden (Beneath the Darkness, Beautiful Wave), Brittany Robertson (The Secret Circle, From Within), Alison Brie (Man Men, Parasomnia, Born), Nico Tortorella (The Lowenfish Party, Trespass), Anthony Anderson (Scary Movie 3 & 4, Urban Legends: The Final Cut), Adam Brody (Jennifer's Body, Smiley Face), Mary McDonnell (Donnie Darko, Independence Day) and Heather Graham (Scream 2, From Hell, Twin Peaks, Nowhere). Scream 4 is currently in theaters worldwide.




Skull Ratings:
5 Skulls - The Best
4 Skulls - Very Good
3 Skulls - Good / Average
2 Skulls - Poor
1 Skull - The Worst

4/13/11

All I Know Is That In The Third One, All Bets Are Off.






Sarah Darling:
"Has there been another goddamn re-write? How the fuck are we supposed to learn our lines when there's a new script every 15 minutes?"
Ghostface: "It's not just a new script, it's a new movie."
Sarah Darling: "What movie?"
Ghostface: My movie. And it's called: 'Sarah gets skewered like a fucking pig!' Still in character... Sarah?"

4/12/11

You Hang Up On Me Again, I'll Gut You Like A Fish, Understand?






Ghostface:
"Name the killer in Friday the 13th."
Casey: "Jason! Jason, Jason!"
Ghostface: "I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer!"
Casey: "No, it's not. No it's not. It was Jason."
Ghostface: "Afraid not. No way."
Casey: "Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie 20 goddamn times!"
Ghostface: "Then you should know that Jason's mother, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer. Jason didn't show up until the sequel. I'm afraid that was a wrong answer."
Casey: "You tricked me."
Ghostface: "Lucky for you there's a bonus round, but poor Steve... I'm afraid he's OUT!"

4/10/11

Monster Kid Memories

Scream Edition

Hello all. I truly meant to debut this section of the blog sometime ago, however, as with everything that gets put on the back burner, life's other responsibilities kept me away from said task. So unfortunately, Monster Kid Memories, before it even got its proper cardinal presentation, is making its first appearance in the form of a "special edition". But worry not dear readers, you'll live, fun will be had, my reflective brain power will get flexed and I'll most likely embarrass myself several times over along the way.

What is Monster Kid Memories you ask? Why, it's really nothing more than me reminiscing about moments from my childhood that relate to me being a great big horror nut (apparently from inception onwards). For the purposes of excusing certain behavior (that in hindsight is more than a little bit embarrassing), my "childhood" heretofore is going to encompass ages 1 - 18. Anything that I partook in or did after the age of 18, is fair game for you to ridicule or judge me on. I'll own it.

The germ of this idea, to compose articles about such personal instances from my past, was sown during my writing of the review for Lew Lehman's The Pit (1981, the review can be found here). I found it near impossible to share my feelings about the film's plot without relating some of my own situations from my childhood beforehand, seeing as how nearly every frame of that film inspired some bizarre trip down memory lane. Chiefly being that much like the pint-sized protagonist of that film, how I was a very strange little child (to put it mildly), obsessed with death, destruction, monsters, madmen and copious amounts of the red stuff. I was Jaime Benjamin (Sammy Snyders) and he was me (save for the fact that the only Trog-like abominations in my life, were those created in my overworked imagination). The point is, I had a lot of fun writing that review and revisiting my sordid childhood in such a manner. It made me want to do it again, it made me want to remember more (in truth, a rather rare occurrence in my life as I've spent the better part of the last decade attempting to forget the majority of my early years for other less savory reasons). Admittedly, this endeavor isn't something that I imagine will be the easiest thing to do, as my hypochondriac nature leads me to believe that I am currently suffering from either unknown brain trauma, meningitis, epilepsy, an early onset of Alzheimer's or some sort of Fringe-esque rapid aging, as my once sharp-as-a-tack memory is nearly nonexistent these days (ask me what I ate 4 hours ago and a swirl of gray fog obscures the memory in my mind, truly frustrating and more than a bit unnerving). However, I will do the best I can with what I can. No James Frey recollections here. Promise. Just the cold hard truth, even if at times it seems so over the top, so unlikely that that I wasn't under constant psychiatric care, so strange that it must be fiction, I assure you dear readers, it isn't.

I Want To Play A Game


Picture the setting. It is night. The darkness is utter and complete, the kind of darkness one finds themselves in when removed from the comforting environs of a well lit city and transplanted to its rural outskirts, where only the stars and a dim moon will light your way. My mother and step-father's relatively large, two-story country home (complete with enormous barn). Miles from any town, neighboring an empty, expansive golf course and with the closest houses no more than 200 yards away (many of them, buried deep within the woods that surrounded our house to the north). In short, very reminiscent of Casey Becker's (Drew Barrymore) abode from the very first Scream (minus the beautiful vineyard, this was after all, Indiana). And the evening I was sharing with my then-fiance Mike, was likewise very similar to the one Casey was about to have with her boyfriend, dearly departed and gutted Steven Orth (Kevin Patrick Walls); scary movies on the TV, enjoying a snugly evening in the middle of nowhere, capitalizing on the fact that my parents were out of town and I had the house to myself with my beau. Except, midway through the evening, watching fear flicks and spooning on the couch didn't sound as exciting anymore. Something more...adventurous was in order. Something more lively. At first, inspiration came to me in the form of playing a game of hide-and-go-seek (an activity that me and a select group of friends still got up to from time to time, but in slightly more creepy environments like the local haunted spot Devil's Hollow or the biggest cemetery in town but more on those games some other time). However, just playing hide and seek didn't seem nearly enough...there needed to be something more. Then, like a lightning bolt, it struck me, "let's play Scream!" Yes, I actually said that, and yes we actually did "play Scream". Here is how.

The object of the game was very simple; There would be the victim (Mike, and later changed to accommodate victims, as our friend Jasmine joined in on the fun) and the maniac (me, decked out Ghostface mask and a huge black coat reminiscent of Candyman's wardrobe). All the victim was required to do, was find away into the locked up house from outside (there was only ever one way inside, known only to me), find the hidden set of car keys, escape the house, enter my locked car and drive it off the property to "safety". There were catches that made accomplishing this, very difficult. Many of them. First off, in keeping with the hide-and-go-seek nature of the game, the victim could only be "tagged" three times and they would lose, and by "tagged" I mean "stabbed" with a fake plastic knife or hand scythe (my favorite, shades of Children of the Corn here) that I would wield, and by lose I mean "die". The game was played within the pitch black house and the equally dark, unlit property. No lights were allowed to be turned on by the victims (nor I) and they had to rely on their eyes adjusting either to the dark as they crept about trying to remain undetected, or they had to use what little light I provided them to navigate through the rooms (usually a single television set playing a horror movie). There senses were further fucked by the fact that I would have playing in the house, a horror film score so loud, that it was near impossible to communicate with another party or hear me sneaking up behind them. A horror film score so loud that I imagine in the quite countryside, it could be heard a mile away in the still of the night. A horror score so loud that you couldn't help but feel like you were smack dab in the middle of some nightmarish scenario straight out of a scary movie, or unwittingly having found yourself stumbling into one (my film score collection wasn't the gargantuan beast that it is today, so I usually employed Don Davis' House on Haunted Hill remake soundtrack, to hair-raising effect, the sheer volume that I played it at being enough to put anyone on edge, the track Epiphanic Evelyn being a standout example ). Additionally, like any victim in a good scary movie, they were allowed to fight back against my "attacks", utilizing anything within arms reach that would neither break, nor seriously harm someone (pillows, couch cushions and the like). They were not allowed to lock doors behind them in an effort to evade me. They could barricade the doors with their bodies or other objects, but that was all. In most cases the only option was find some dark corner to make themselves very small in, or tuck themselves away in the back of some dark as pitch closet and be very very still and very very quite. To make things even more intense, if one found themselves injured in the duration of the game (me or them), they were to pick themselves up and keep going, limping or crawling their way to temporary safety somewhere. The game would only stop if they or I seriously hurt ourselves (and considering how genuinely freaked out one could get in the middle of playing, it's a wonder one of us didn't break our neck as there were instances of falling down the stairs and tripping over objects in the yard only to go flying face first into the dirt). Lastly, acquiring hidden car keys in a lightless house is hard in the best of circumstances, finding them using only select, odd clues placed about to point you in the right direction is quite another thing entirely, deciphering the aforementioned clues while being stalked by a masked "killer" was difficult to the extreme. I would set up these clues while the other players would drive around the countryside, waiting to pass by the house and see that the outside porch light had been turned off (the indication that the game had begun and they were to park the car and make their way inside). Sometimes they won and escaped with their lives, other times they weren't so lucky and the game ended with their "lifeless, bloody corpses strewn about on the ground." Or something to that effect.

The Highlights Reel


One reason I was constantly the killer while playing Scream (with the exception of one game where I spent 3 hours nearly peeing my pants, hiding underneath beds and inside closets), was because plain and simply, I am a control freak. I wasn't entirely sure either Mike or Jasmine had the enthusiasm to set up intricate clues or maintain the momentum of coming on hard and strong for an "attack" but then know when to retreat a bit to maximize tension and prolong the chase thereby enhancing the overall terror. Possibly either one of them would have done just fine, but like I said, control freak.

Below you will find a roster of some of the games' highlights, in no particular order or context.

- Check The Backseat
There was one instance when we were playing Scream where I held off stalking Mike and Jasmine in the beginning while they were still trying to find a way inside the house. Instead, I waited inside the backseat of my parents' SUV that was parked in the dark garage. The reason being that I had left the door that adjoined the garage to the house the only one unlocked and their only way inside. To reach this door, one of them would have to shimmy on their stomach beneath the garage door that I had left open only a foot off of the ground. When they passed (it turned out to be Mike) I threw the SUV door open behind them and sprung my attack (missing him). But the chase had begun and this instance led to this...

- Open The Door!
Mike had fled into the house through the garage, leaving me standing there for a moment deciding what my next plan of action was. Hearing Jasmine's calls of "Mike? Mike?" from the other side of the enormous garage door, I quickly decided. Stealthily moving to a small gap between door and floor, I took a swipe at her unsuspecting form, I missed but managed to send her screaming to the front door where she proceeded to bang and holler and beg Mike to open the door "quickly, now, NOW". I think I stood there for a moment, dumfounded over the fact that I had just recreated within the game, and unintentionally at that, the famous scene from the climax of John Carpenter's Halloween. Specifically, the one where Jaime Lee Curtis' Laurie Strode finds herself locked out of her house with an ever encroaching Michael Myers. Yes really. However, due to the fact that I approached with his same slow and deliberate pace (I couldn't really run like Ghostface mind you, I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day), Mike caught to the front door in the nick of time and let Jasmine inside, just as I was upon her.

There are other crazy moments to be sure. Like the time I hid the car keys on the roof during a rainstorm (how we didn't simultaneously break our necks or destroy my parent's floors by tracking mud everywhere is a miracle, but the kind of miracle that one at that age only recognizes in hindsight). Or the time Jasmine and I (when I was playing as a victim for a change) was hiding in the darkness of my parent's walk in closet (which itself led into another walk in closet, with two entrances to boot, one almost a cleverly hidden mirror), clinging to one another and trying to not pee our pants until one of those closet doors were ripped open and standing there in the hazy shadows was Ghostface (Mike), knife raised and at the ready and I did just that, pee my pants. A little. I could go on certainly and if I concentrated hard enough I'm sure I could scare up more noteworthy memories from our games. But I think you get the general idea dear readers.

Conclusion

As I promised earlier, what I just shared with you probably makes many of you wonder how I wasn't under constant scrutiny from trained psychiatric professionals. Beats me. Maybe I should have been. However, I am more inclined to view those Scream games for what I believe they really were; just a couple of extremely bored, crazy kids utilizing their imaginations and taking a game of hide-and-go-seek to the next, scare-the-hell-out-of-themselves level. And we did scare the ever living hell out of ourselves. It was as if for a time, we created for ourselves for the cost of nothing more than a dime store Halloween mask, our very own Haunted House. Only there was no admission, it was open year round (or rather, whenever my parents were out of town) and it operated by our rules. The only rule that was really important though being the one where we gave each other the fright of our lives and I can't stress how much we did just that. Ever since those days, it's relatively easy to watch some slasher film and think to oneself "I kinda know what that feels like; the pursuit, the hiding, the screaming, the fear...I lived it." Sorta.

4/4/11

Life Imitating Art Imitating Life

The Scre4m Art Show

Gearing up their enthusiasm for the impending release of Scream 4, last year between November 1st and November 15th, diehard fans contributed their works of art inspired by Scream, Ghostface and the franchise's film-within-the-film series, Stab, to the Scre4m art show hosted by Hyaena Gallery in Burbank, California. Spearheaded by Scream 4 property master, Skip Crank, the gallery hosted the official reception on November 6th. But there wasn't just art being viewed. No, no. Crank had on display for all the eager slasher fans' eyes, props from the 4th film, including but not limited to the Ghostface costume, mask, and other assorted goodies. Unfortunately, seeing as how yours truly is currently stuck in the wilds of America's bible belt, I was unable to attend (as I imagine a great many of you dear readers were unable to as well). But mourn not, below you will select pieces from that very show (some of which you will no doubt recognize in Scream 4 itself, featured in the film's "barn party scene"). No doubt, some works are arguably better than others, but every piece illustrates that there are still amongst us, hardcore Scream fans who love this unique film franchise to their very core. Enjoy!


4/3/11

Don't Forget To Set The Alarm







Cici: "Who are you calling for?"
Ghostface: "What if I said you?"
Cici: "What if I said goodbye?"
Ghostface: "Why would you want to do that?"
Cici: "Why do you always answer a question with a question?"
Ghostface: "I'm inquisitive."
Cici: "Yeah, and I'm impatient, look do you wanna leave a message for somebody?"
Ghostface: "Do you want to die tonight, Cici?"

4/2/11

The Countdown Continues...13 Days Until Scream 4

Reboot This! (Part Deux)
Or The Scream 4 Adverts That Should Have Been



Granted I thoroughly appreciate the most recent Scream 4 theatrical poster, what with it's striking homage to John Carpenter's Halloween sales art from 1978; Scream's Ghostface's mask in profile stylishly becoming a knife much like Halloween's seasonal jack-o-lantern morphed into Michael Myers' blade (check it out here). However, as far as successful advertising campaigns are concerned, nothing thus far has beaten these two fan-made posters (by artist PL Boucher) for the most recent sequel. Look closer. What you will see are two works of art that function on so many successful levels at selling the film, it's downright criminal that it would be downright criminal if Dimension Films stole these pieces and used them as their own. First off, much like the the remake trend they are lampooning, the images themselves are reworkings from previously used art (Neve Campbell's face from the front is a nod to both Drew Barrymore's and Jada Pinkett-Smith's turns on the similarly styled Scream and Scream 2 posters). Secondly, the art makes no bones about just what film they are selling (easily recognizable fonts, tagline and Ghostface and Sidney's mugs instantly draw a reflective connection to what has come before). Thirdly, the script that forms the basis of the two main images is a deftly drawn acknowledgement of just what this particular Scream film is all about: remakes. The sheer amount of titles present within the script is also a hilarious indictment (selling the franchise's comedy) of the trend that Scream 4 is about to tear to pieces, perfectly encapsulating the tone and direction of the story. Final verdict? The two most amazing Scream advertisements likely ever committed to poster. Now, I just need two frames.
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