It's almost here dear readers, well for me at least. Just as I am certain that many of you are putting the final touches to your plans for this evenings' many Scream 4 midnight screenings, I too am gearing up for my own return to Woodsboro tonight (a private viewing on an IMAX screen no less, can I get a woot to that shit). Some final thoughts and hopes before I depart though, as The October Country completes its Scream 4 countdown and returns to it's regular preoccupation with things not Ghostface related (I am looking forward to this, to be sure).
Dear Scream 4,
This is what I want of you, nay, this is what I expect from you tonight:
- At least two showstopping, stunningly suspenseful setpieces. This is something that you excel at (the cop car escape and the media classroom cat-and-mouse scenes from Scream 2 come to mind) and you have had an entire decade to cook up some more, so you best bring it.
- I am equally in love with the idea of the returning cast members biting it gruesomely (solely for dramatic storytelling purposes) as much as I am staunchly opposed to this development. Surprise me (just keep your hands off of my Gale Weathers, seriously I'll probably cry).
- I don't expect you to recapture Drew Barrymore's lightening in a bottle opening sequence magic twice, however, I expect you to have cooked up something just as special and just as different as you did with the first sequel.
- I've already come to terms with the fact that due to the expanded, gargantuan cast, combined with the abbreviated running time, the characters are going to suffer as a result (no, not in the fun way). It would have been nice had you given the film the proper running time to flesh them all out, but this sadly is not to be the case apparently. I don't like it, but I'm dealing with it. The core three better be given their due, and it would be nice if you make me care about the fates of at least 50% of the rest of the cast. I'm not expecting miracles, but my fingers are crossed.
- Keep the comedy biting, witty, blackly satirical and genuinely funny and not stupid (Scream 3) and over the top (Scream 3) as in the last outing. Please. Pretty please.
- Tear remakes and reboots a new one to the point that no Hollywood studio dare make another one, lest they be seen in the eyes of the mainstream public as the evil, money grubbing monsters Scream 4 surely paints them as.
- At least one death scene worthy of the ages (or equal to the jaw dropping denouement of dearly departed Tatum).
- Be better than everything in the entirety of Scream 3.
- Remind us what was so damn special about you to begin with.
- Don't suck.
- I repeat, don't suck.
Hyper-demanding super fan that I am, I could go on but I think it's best for my own inflated expectations that I stop there before I run the risk of setting the bar so high for the film that it will never satisfy me. I truly have no idea what to expect tonight. Every single review I have read (at least 20 and counting) contradicts what was written in the one that came before it (scary not scary, funny not funny, it's clever it's smug, the actors are wasted the actors really shine,suspenseful not suspenseful and so on) . It seems as though every critic has either watched a different film entirely, or everyone has come away uniquely affected in their own manner. Either way, all the conflicting reports has left me right where I was in the beginning, when we started our countdown and turned our site for two weeks into an exclusively Scream related blog. I'm still just as equally excited and nervously apprehensive as I ever was. Come midnight tonight, as the lights dim in the theater and Dimension's logo flashes across the screen, I'll soon find out.